We are fortunate to have many multigenerational clients. The most successful families have ensured estate plans were in place for themselves, their parents, and even their young adult children.

While it can be challenging to talk to your parents about estate planning, it is crucial to make sure they have the legal documents in place to cover scenarios where they may be in an accident, need you to step in as a financial advocate (Durable Power of Attorney), medical advocate (Medical Power of Attorney), execute their Wills or to carry out their burial or cremation instructions (Appointment for Disposition of Remains).

If your parents do not have Wills, Powers of Attorney, or Medical Directives in place, it is helpful to talk to them about why they are important so that you can assist them (and they can assist each other!) in the event of an accident or death.

First, a Durable Power of Attorney gives someone the authority to act on your behalf in financial and personal decision-making. Your parents can list each other as primary, but should have at least one backup person in place. The best person to be a Power of Attorney is someone who is trustworthy, detail-oriented, and does not have their own financial issues.

Next, your parents should have what we call the “medical trio” in place. This means naming someone as Medical Power of Attorney – their advocate to make health care decisions for them if they are not able to do so. Because we want those decisions to be informed, the persons listed as Medical Power of Attorney should also be given HIPAA authorization (access to medical records). The final medical decision to discuss is your parents’ wishes regarding the use of life support (Advanced Directive or Living Will).

Talk to your parents about having a Will (or Revocable Trust) plan in place, naming an Executor (or Trustee) to carry out the instructions in the Will (or Trust). The Executor, like the Durable Power of Attorney, is a trustworthy individual who is detail-oriented and capable of working with the probate attorney to follow the deadlines set by the Court.

Finally, talk to them about their wishes regarding burial or cremation. Did they already pre-arrange with a funeral home?  Do they want to be cremated? Is there a certain place they want to be buried or their ashes scattered? All of these decisions should be discussed ahead of time, and they should name someone (Appointment of Agent for Disposition of Remains) to make sure these wishes are carried out.

This may be a difficult conversation to have with your parents. Make sure they understand that you love them, you honor them, and they need to help you so you can make sure all of their wishes are carried out. In addition to getting the legal documents in place as outlined above, work with them to make a list of their assets and liabilities. Make sure you know what policies they have (including any long-term care policies), financial information, passwords, and where things such as their deeds, titles, and legal documents are located.  With a little bit of planning, you and your parents can have peace of mind, having thoughtfully planned for their future.